Will Clap Their Hands

Um. I don't even know what to say about this image. Not sure which is creepier: Turtle shells with faces positioned inappropriately, or the drool hanging from their lips. Great mustaches, though.

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Warning: Debbie Downer ahead! read at own risk! Just needing to vent!
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I don't even know what's going on right now. This winter will not die. Its hanging on by a thread, and its driving me and everyone I know insane. Roommate suddenly wants to jet off to Alaska to do something ??? and basically move out by June 1 st. I mean, I'm all for doing what you gotta do, run away from whatever, and I'm not gonna tell you how to live... but try not to drag other people into it, specifically people you share a lease with. Its really fucking up my shit, and try to give more than a month and a weeks notice. If you gotta runaway, do it, but know what you're running from, and at least get a basic plan together. Ahead of time.


On top of that, this house is literally falling apart. A giant tree fell in the back yard last Sunday. I found out about it, because I was sitting at my new, sweet desk I found on the side of the road (I love college town move out season! free shit!) in my room on my laptop, when I look out and see and hear shit hitting the side of the house, and branches moving in my window, and crap falling off the roof. I thought the aliens had come.


Also the bathroom sink is clogged, and I tried very man-like for three days to unclog it, after careful research on the subject on the internet, but to no avail. I even tried Coca-Cola, which I heard will eventually eat through most anything, like hair, and even teeth if left soaking in it for days. Like, dissolve the tooth. And people drink it every day. Hmmm. Oh, did I mention the toilet is leaking, into the floor. One day I'm going to go for a crap, and then bamn, the floor will give, and I'll be sitting on the crapper in the basement. Or cartoon like, the whole house will shift down instead, and I'll be suspended, mid air, on the john.


Moral of the story, is that unresponsive landlord isn't responsive.


Thus, I understand wanting to get out of this situation. I'm very much considering giving up this "gem" of an apartment; if not just to try something new. Lots of ghosts in this house. Not actual ones, its just got a lot of my history, history I've been so ready to leave behind. Especially with women that want to leave it, while I cohabitate with them. Sorry. Had to throw that one in there. Something shook me last night as all too familiar. Like the last one. And we're not even dating, or anything.

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whoa, tangent. I'm just pissed off about this right now, and stressed, and need a vacation, and have a been working on the burlesque stuff so much lately, which is good, but draining.

Did I mention I've almost finished my robot costume, built from cardboard from scratch, except for the most awesome Optimus Prime Helmet, that I found at the salvation army for six bucks?
With built in voice modifier? Dude. Its sweet. And saved me probably a whole days worth of work. I've probably put in over 40 hours on this project. I'm utterly sick of looking at cardboard.

But its for our next show, which is this friday. I'm pumped, but you wouldn't know it. At least I have Thursday off, completely to rest before the show. Unless I just totally cursed it by saying that. The way things are going these days...

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Ok. I feel somewhat better. Sigh. Things are changing so much again. So fast.


I secretly have an urge to steal someone's car, and just drive off somewhere wilderness-y and just camp out for a day or two. Be alone in wilderness for a bit. Clear the head out. Or something. Experience something else for a bit.


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Song for Woodthrush

This made me laugh.

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It is currently thee worst week of the winter. The most dreaded of all times of the winter. The last week of March, by which all accounts is technically Spring, but you wouldn't know it around these parts. The sky has been a solid sheet of gray for a week. Cold, but not too cold, just enough to make you wear a jacket, and to make you think twice about wearing that scarf you hoped you wouldn't have to wear again this season.

I've also had a cold for about two months now, which is like a somewhat annoying noise in the background, always there, but you just can't tune it out enough. Constant ebbs and flows of phlegm. Coughs abound, and sneezes and then the sore throats... Lately my lungs feel horribly broken, and I keep thinking about how I'm long overdue to attempt the quitting of the smoking of which I am so fond.

It also snowed today, for the first time in a month, and it is just not what I need right now. I long to sleep with the window open again. To spend actual time outdoors. To see and feel the sunshine.

This week has been insane. Starting off on this entirely crazy emotional dive, like, everyone around me had it, and we all felt insane. Bizarre antics at work. A new B-show in the works, with plans for the future looming overhead. Over-abundance of booze.

I also "broke-up" with someone tonight. I had mentioned briefly hanging out with a lady. Well, it became clear to me that things we're not apparently on the same level. I had made my intentions clear from the start, with honesty, that I wasn't looking for something huge and intense, i.e. a girlfriend, and things were agreed upon - keep it cool and casual. Slowly that changed bit by bit, though not so much on my part, sadly, and I called it off, not wanting to make things worse down the road.

Even at thirty the whole break-up process is totally still stressful and awkward. Even if I consider myself a seasoned veteran of the dating world, the world of relationships, man, shit still sucks. I'm still thinking of sticking to my guns on rather getting dumped than being the dumpee.

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I suppose its in the way the language changes. Despite claims of not wanting a boyfriend/girlfriend at all, on either part, and then upping the vocabulary. In some parts, yes, for lack of a better word, or explaining it to friends. Ah, the rough and tumble world of semantics.

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Roommate had commented on certain conversations overheard. Warned me of girlspeak. Girlspeak I may have misconstrued. Or inadvertantly agreed upon things I would not have.

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Anyway, I'm all weird right now and waxing all emotional, and feel somewhat sappy, but relieved. Also totally exhausted from my day at work of taking out old shelves and installing new ones in the walk-in, which meant standing in cold refrigerator for a couple hours, and then outside for an hour building new shelving units. At least I scored some awesome cardboard that I need in order to build my robot suit for my next routine.

Realizing I really need that vacation I promised to myself, though I keep putting it off.

I gots a new lifeform to check in on, godsdammit.

Also missing old friends suddenly, that I haven't spoken to in a while.

Goddamn this winter must end.